One step at a time
There’s no need to rush
It’s like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It’s gonna happen when it’s supposed to happen
Then we’ll find the reasons why…
One step at a time.
That is the chorus of one of my favourite songs in the entire world, One Step At A Time, sung by American Idol star, Jordan Sparks.
When I was younger, there was a very obvious pressure placed on me by my parents to become successful, and to become successful fast. To have it figured out early. To pick a lane. To prove something. Achievement wasn’t just encouraged, it was expected, and timing felt just as important as the outcome.
Joke’s on everyone, because I didn’t really find my footing until just a couple years ago lol.
During the years I was struggling to find my place in the word, it made me very angry, but today, I say that with zero bitterness because what I’ve learned is this: rushing doesn’t actually make things happen faster. It just makes you anxious while they unfold anyway. How many of us feel behind because our lives don’t look like the imaginary timeline we absorbed growing up? How many of us think if it hasn’t happened yet, something must be wrong with us? That we missed a turn? That we failed to keep up? Growth isn’t linear, and success isn’t punctual. Some lessons simply can’t be skipped, no matter how badly we want the destination. And more often than not, the lessons are the preparation.
On my journey to figuring it out, I tried taking all the shortcuts. You name it, I did it. I tried forcing paths that weren’t aligned. I tried becoming versions of myself that felt impressive but empty. I even tried convincing myself that this was as good as it was every going to get and I should just be grateful. But somehow, my intuition always ejected me out of those situations and placed me right back at the starting point. I want to call it fate, but in reality, I walked back on my own free will. Something in me refused to continue without integrity. Without meaning. Without truth.
Now, some might say I wasted time. But the way I see it, my soul was hungry for certain lessons, and as we know, the universe will hand you the same lesson over and over again until you learn it.
There is no such thing as wasted time when you’re becoming yourself. There is only refinement. Clarification. Alignment.
What’s interesting is that the day I learned my toughest lesson, the one that hurt the most and had me questioning my entire existence, was also the day I stopped resisting where I was and started moving toward who I actually wanted to be. I began taking steps toward a life that felt honest instead of impressive. Toward fulfillment instead of approval. But here’s the irony: that wasn’t my first step. My first step happened years earlier, back when everyone thought I was wasting time and jeopardizing my future. Choosing myself (it didn't look like choosing myself then, it looked like bad decisions and recklessness) before it made sense to anyone else was actually the best decision I could have made, because it led me exactly where I needed to be. Do you understand?
If you’re in a season where nothing feels clear, where you’re questioning your pace or comparing your timeline to everyone else’s, hear this: clarity doesn’t come from having all the answers. It comes from listening closely enough to take the next aligned step. Even the small ones count. Especially the quiet ones. Life meets you where you’re willing to move, not where you wish you already were.
So if life feels unclear right now, take the pressure off. You don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need to take the next honest step.
That’s how everything meaningful happens anyway.
One step at a time.
I love you,
Arlie 🤍
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